Testing times......

Hey friends, back again to eat your brains!!!! Well, this time I'm all set to write on a rather heavy topic.......

Now, picture this....

There was this lady who was battling cancer, last stage. And eventually when she lay on her deathbed, she was surrounded by all her near and dear ones - her husband, her 3 daughters, grandchildren, siblings and some close friends. And once the doctor announced that she was critical and battling for her last few breaths, everyone was allowed near her and all of them were in tears. Everyone was saying things like "mom, please don't leave us and go...", "what would we do without you?" and her husband said "how can you do this to me.....you had promised you'd always be there with and for me and all our children..." and stuff like that. None of them were quite empathetic to the fact that she was already miserable and wasn't exactly enjoying what she was undergoing, that she had no control over what was to happen to her in the next few moments; in fact she was in immense pain and struggling for each breath.

Away from this entire scene, her youngest daughter stood at one corner of the room.....not weeping, not saying anything. And then, suddenly but with firm steps, she walked up to her mother. She lovingly took her mother's hand in hers and with her eyes full but the tears not flowing, she said strongly, "Mom, ever since we were born and to this very day, you have always done for us all that was in your capacity and more to make us happy. You have not given us all that we wanted but all that we needed....and that's what has made us the charming and sensible young women we are. You built in us those values and habits that people around us love and respect us for. You have been our best friend who gave us a high five when we were delighted about something, a pat on the back to motivate us and give us strength when things weren't quite going the way we wanted them to, a shoulder to cry on when we were really distraught. Mom, we love you loads. And it pains us greatly to see you suffer like this. We can feel the suffering you are going through. Much as we love you and want you with us forever, it'd never do for us to see you like this everyday of your life." And then she paused to clear her throat, lest she start crying.

Then she said, "Mom, I speak not just for myself but for all of us." Everyone glared at each other wondering what this girl was going to say. She continued, "Mom, each one will tell you a different thing. Each one of us is extremely sad about having to let you go but mom, we realize that its best for you." "Noooooooooooooooooo. What are you saying?" screamed her elder sister. But the girl softly went on without clarifying, "Sometimes, we must realize that when its hard to hold on, its best to let go." And with that she moved behind the crowd of people because she couldn't contain her tears any more. Her mother breathed her last within two seconds, but not before saying, "Thank you, my love, for making it easier for me."

Well, well, if that was sad and brought tears to your eyes, I must congratulate my story-telling abilities! But my intention was not that. Its just the line, "When its hard to hold on, its best to let go".........I'd read this line in Reader's Digest a couple of years ago and it just stuck. I thought.....and still think...that it is a line which gives a lot of strength. At first, it seems like a line that glorifies the act of giving up before achieving anything. But on deeper thought, you realize that it is not so much about giving up as it is about giving in.

What I mean is that sometimes things are simply beyond our control. Like the definition of life goes, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." Yes, its just that and that's what we commonly call destiny. Call it destiny, fate, God's will or for the atheist and the non-spiritual people among you, simply an occurrence but at grassroots level, and for all practical purposes, its something we have no control over. And after all, that's life......and sometimes, you've just got to give in because some things are just meant to be!

This article is not so much about the sob story that I narrated just now as it is about that one line. I believe it is a line that fits everywhere and that signifies prudence in the stickiest of situations. Let's see how.....shall we??!!

When someone fails an examination, what do we tell him or her in consolation?? We say that its best to put the failure behind and start anew with renewed enthusiasm and effort. Let go of the failure, so to say, and not hold on to it.

When someone has just had a horrible break-up or is fresh from going through a trying patch in their relationship, again, instead of holding on to the gross memories of it, its best to let go and look ahead and better times.

When our favorite sports team loses an incredibly easy match (read India losing against Bangladesh...........LOL!!), what do we do??? Curse them. And then when they come back with a bang (our darling men in blue again!!!), what do we do again?? Hail them!! Why?? Because we don't hold on to their failures!!! We let them go and look at each new game with new hope (so much for our hopes in the ICC World Cup!!!!)

When a 26/7 or 9/11 or 7/11 strike, do we shut ourselves up inside our homes and steer clear of danger or venture out, albeit with a little fear in our hearts but with courage in our head and the determination to not let anything deter our spirit??? Obviously the latter......and that is but a result of not holding on to the memories or the fear or the incident at large but letting go and being strong.

So I said, the maxim applies universally. Why.....may I ask.....why do we need to burden ourselves with excess baggage of past memories, failures, worries when those that life keeps pelting at us are more than sufficient??!!!! I happened to read somewhere......."A man doesn't even live for a hundred years, yet he worries enough for thousand!!" How True!

Just as the age-old principle goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", trying times make you stronger. Challenges brace you for the worst but even in those times, we must derive strength from our inner selves and that can happen by not dwelling on the past but by looking ahead, at the bright future in anticipation of nothing less than the BEST!!!!

So let us be like birds, carefree and calm. Let us relieve our self of the excess baggage of sorrow, failure, grudge, worry, guilt and panic that slow us on our journey through life......Lighten our load and be happier people. Let us all learn and practice the principle, "When its hard to hold on, its best to let go!!"

This is it for now pals.....till next time, from Slo, its Tally-Ho!!!

Courage is more than being willing to fight!!

When a soldier displays his patriotic fervour at the border, we say he is valiant.

When someone lives stoically through a mental trauma or tragedy, we say he is brave.

What do we say when a person is bullied and mocked at by someone and he does nothing about it? Do we call this person a coward? Definitely not. This person has just put on display his strong prudent sense and his extraordinary COURAGE!

Don’t believe me?! Fine. Let me explain. We spoke of valour, bravery and courage. What is the difference between the three? Valour is a show of physical strength and superiority, generally on the battlefront. Bravery is the mental strength to withstand torture – mental or otherwise – and to resist succumbing to one’s fears. If valour is physical and bravery is mental, then what is courage? Courage is an optimum blend of the two forms of strength.

Let us revisit the example of being bullied. Suppose X, a nasty fellow, bullies Y for no apparent reason, what would onlookers expect Y to do? Retort back, you might say. And why not?? If X punched Y in his middle, then why shouldn’t Y slap him back? That’s the difference…you say, “why shouldn’t he?” while Y thinks, “why should I?”. If Y is a person of strong will, then he will not strike back because he knows that his tolerance of their torture will tire his rivals sooner or later. It is also important that Y’s tolerance is not misunderstood as cowardice. He remains quiet not because he can’t fight but because he doesn’t want to. The same Y will stand up for his rights and even fight for them if the need arises. He is a person who believes in fighting only where it is absolutely inevitable.

This is Courage. Courage is the strength to fight and the strength to tolerate and the sense to know which should be put to use when. A person who fights simply to prove he is courageous fails dismally and ends up proving exactly the opposite! The person who knows when to fight and how to fight and does it only then and in that way is the one who is truly courageous. Courage is more than being willing to fight. It is being willing to avoid a fight and to actually avoid it!!

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So those are my views on courage...........another one of my published articles!

Well, life's going on....exams coming up, just a week to go! Now that its so near, the nervousness is slowly seeping in! Oh God!!! Please, please let them go well!

And after the exams.....I'll be in Dubai........Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Dubai....I'm coming!

Anyways guyz, (and galz, for the feminist in me!!), no more for now.......more at leisure post my exams.....so slo's gonna blog only after 6th of May now.......

Take care and keep those comments coming in....as they say at McD.......I'M LOVIN IT !!!!!!!!!!!

Till next time........Tally-ho!!!!!

The Orphanage...

This is a poem I wrote because I truly feel strongly for the plight of orphans. They are deprived of parental love and affection and subsequently of many opportunities but, they are still very much in the running in today's mad rat race! I find them to be our true heroes from whom we stand to learn a lot, especially the lesson that, "Where there's a will, there's always a way!"

The Orphanage

The baby weeps and weeps, longing to be in its mother's loving arms

Until the matron picks it up and wipes its tears with her dutiful palms

The young Boy stares out of the window, hoping against all perceptible hope

That his life of loneliness and sorrow is just a bad dream or joke

The teenager toils all day and in her respiteful evening hours

Ponders with tearful eyes as to why fate's been so harsh

The orphanage fulfils all their needs and gives them shelter and warmth

But it lacks the familial milieu and is but a raw substitute for home

It lacks the presence of mom to wipe away their tears

To give silent support and to warrant off their fears

It boasts of no dad to give them sound advice

To scold them when they're wrong and to pat them when they're right

Its inmates have a hard life, unlike yours and mine

They study, cook and work and are busy from nine to nine

They only derive comfort from the fact that they're not alone

They live as brothers and sisters, taking pride in calling them their own

They learn to wear permanently, the disguise of happiness on their face

By smiling while their heart pines for true solace

They smile all day only to weep into their pillows at night

But they steel themselves enough to face each challenge with might

They are the unsung heroes who live each day

With renewed hope and fervour in their war against fate

They are the phoenixes, who rise from destiny's ashen chars

To refuse to succumb to fate and to rise to reach the stars!!!!

So that's about the orphans - our real-life heroes! There's just one thing that I'd like to mention here, which is that we should always remember that the last thing these people want is pity. They need out support and love, not out sympathy and pity. Let's learn to treat them just like one amongst us because that is truly the status they deserve!!!!

Otherwise, life goes on......the same old humdrum of eating, sleeping and studying.......gosh, my exams are just 15 days away......please, Please, PLEASE let them go well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was my grandparents' wedding anniversary and we had all my relatives from Mumbai over.....I've had a blast with my uncles/aunts and little "chintia-pintia" cousins!!!!!! It's been a great weekend.....looking forward to rocking week.........have fun pals!!!!

More later....Tally-ho!