Hey friends, back again to eat your brains!!!! Well, this time I'm all set to write on a rather heavy topic.......
Now, picture this....
There was this lady who was battling cancer, last stage. And eventually when she lay on her deathbed, she was surrounded by all her near and dear ones - her husband, her 3 daughters, grandchildren, siblings and some close friends. And once the doctor announced that she was critical and battling for her last few breaths, everyone was allowed near her and all of them were in tears. Everyone was saying things like "mom, please don't leave us and go...", "what would we do without you?" and her husband said "how can you do this to me.....you had promised you'd always be there with and for me and all our children..." and stuff like that. None of them were quite empathetic to the fact that she was already miserable and wasn't exactly enjoying what she was undergoing, that she had no control over what was to happen to her in the next few moments; in fact she was in immense pain and struggling for each breath.
Away from this entire scene, her youngest daughter stood at one corner of the room.....not weeping, not saying anything. And then, suddenly but with firm steps, she walked up to her mother. She lovingly took her mother's hand in hers and with her eyes full but the tears not flowing, she said strongly, "Mom, ever since we were born and to this very day, you have always done for us all that was in your capacity and more to make us happy. You have not given us all that we wanted but all that we needed....and that's what has made us the charming and sensible young women we are. You built in us those values and habits that people around us love and respect us for. You have been our best friend who gave us a high five when we were delighted about something, a pat on the back to motivate us and give us strength when things weren't quite going the way we wanted them to, a shoulder to cry on when we were really distraught. Mom, we love you loads. And it pains us greatly to see you suffer like this. We can feel the suffering you are going through. Much as we love you and want you with us forever, it'd never do for us to see you like this everyday of your life." And then she paused to clear her throat, lest she start crying.
Then she said, "Mom, I speak not just for myself but for all of us." Everyone glared at each other wondering what this girl was going to say. She continued, "Mom, each one will tell you a different thing. Each one of us is extremely sad about having to let you go but mom, we realize that its best for you." "Noooooooooooooooooo. What are you saying?" screamed her elder sister. But the girl softly went on without clarifying, "Sometimes, we must realize that when its hard to hold on, its best to let go." And with that she moved behind the crowd of people because she couldn't contain her tears any more. Her mother breathed her last within two seconds, but not before saying, "Thank you, my love, for making it easier for me."
Well, well, if that was sad and brought tears to your eyes, I must congratulate my story-telling abilities! But my intention was not that. Its just the line, "When its hard to hold on, its best to let go".........I'd read this line in Reader's Digest a couple of years ago and it just stuck. I thought.....and still think...that it is a line which gives a lot of strength. At first, it seems like a line that glorifies the act of giving up before achieving anything. But on deeper thought, you realize that it is not so much about giving up as it is about giving in.
What I mean is that sometimes things are simply beyond our control. Like the definition of life goes, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." Yes, its just that and that's what we commonly call destiny. Call it destiny, fate, God's will or for the atheist and the non-spiritual people among you, simply an occurrence but at grassroots level, and for all practical purposes, its something we have no control over. And after all, that's life......and sometimes, you've just got to give in because some things are just meant to be!
This article is not so much about the sob story that I narrated just now as it is about that one line. I believe it is a line that fits everywhere and that signifies prudence in the stickiest of situations. Let's see how.....shall we??!!
When someone fails an examination, what do we tell him or her in consolation?? We say that its best to put the failure behind and start anew with renewed enthusiasm and effort. Let go of the failure, so to say, and not hold on to it.
When someone has just had a horrible break-up or is fresh from going through a trying patch in their relationship, again, instead of holding on to the gross memories of it, its best to let go and look ahead and better times.
When our favorite sports team loses an incredibly easy match (read India losing against Bangladesh...........LOL!!), what do we do??? Curse them. And then when they come back with a bang (our darling men in blue again!!!), what do we do again?? Hail them!! Why?? Because we don't hold on to their failures!!! We let them go and look at each new game with new hope (so much for our hopes in the ICC World Cup!!!!)
When a 26/7 or 9/11 or 7/11 strike, do we shut ourselves up inside our homes and steer clear of danger or venture out, albeit with a little fear in our hearts but with courage in our head and the determination to not let anything deter our spirit??? Obviously the latter......and that is but a result of not holding on to the memories or the fear or the incident at large but letting go and being strong.
So I said, the maxim applies universally. Why.....may I ask.....why do we need to burden ourselves with excess baggage of past memories, failures, worries when those that life keeps pelting at us are more than sufficient??!!!! I happened to read somewhere......."A man doesn't even live for a hundred years, yet he worries enough for thousand!!" How True!
Just as the age-old principle goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", trying times make you stronger. Challenges brace you for the worst but even in those times, we must derive strength from our inner selves and that can happen by not dwelling on the past but by looking ahead, at the bright future in anticipation of nothing less than the BEST!!!!
So let us be like birds, carefree and calm. Let us relieve our self of the excess baggage of sorrow, failure, grudge, worry, guilt and panic that slow us on our journey through life......Lighten our load and be happier people. Let us all learn and practice the principle, "When its hard to hold on, its best to let go!!"
This is it for now pals.....till next time, from Slo, its Tally-Ho!!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
PROUD TO BE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello everyone....I'm back for a brief repartee amidst my schedule of exams.....after all, we all need a break don't we?!!
It's International Women's Day on March 8th and before I move on, Happy Women's Day to all the women I know and to the ones I don't know........Let's celebrate our existence and command our worth on a day that's dedicated to us!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we're back to that time of the year again when publications ramble on and on about how eons have passed and women have not evolved. We still continue to be the weaker sex and how we are so easily exploited.........Some small movements and changes are highlighted but unfortunately, the emphasis is always on how we are still inferior to men......
How unfair......how grossly unfair.....We all know that over the years, we surely have uplifted our status and have been steadily climbing up the social ladder. Things have changed for the better and a lot of ancient, almost savage practices have now been rendered redundant. Women have always been hailed as the better half of men. They have shared space on this earth ever since man has been here. Yet, they have always had a raw deal. People talk of equality and elimination of gender bias but let's face it....in our predominantly orthodox social set up, somewhere at the corner of our mind, the bias still exists. Women have never had it easy. In all forms of social extremism, the targets have always been women....be it the purdah system, sati or infanticide. Women can do almost everything that men can and yet, time and again, they need to prove themselves because people just need an excuse to bring about comparisons and underplay the role and achievements of women.
Maybe its time then, that we stopped trying to prove anything to anybody. Maybe we should just live life on our own terms, mind our own business.......maybe we should stop screaming ourselves hoarse that we are equal to men and let them see and sense it for themselves! Having said that, I must add that over the past few years, women have been in the forefront in all fields....from Politics (our very own queen bee Smt. Sonia Gandhi) to social work (Maneka Gandhi), from Science (Kalpana Chawla) to Commerce (Indra Nooyi), from Art (Dr.Sarayu Doshi) to Literature (the recent Pulitzer prize-winner Kiran Desai) to Films (Deepa Mehta....director of the Oscar-nominated Water) to every other field.......and these are just great exponents that I have chosen from a list of women that if completely laid, would never end!!!! These women, by being the very best in their respective departments, have given inimitable respect to our clan and shown that women have what it takes to be 'UP THERE'! (Disclaimer: I have intentionally named ONLY Indian women, not because I am prejudiced but because I reside in India and my literary works are largely in the Indian context, so it only makes sense to name Indians as instances)
In concurrence with the age-old saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", women have always shown that they can very well maintain their calm in trying times and emerge victorious in the gravest of circumstances. It has been often cited how immaculately ambitious women balance home and work.
No mistakes here.......I am not trying to hail 'womankind' as superior to the men folk (though nothing would please me more!!). I am not saying that men are poor old good-for-nothings who simply trudge to work, briefcase in hand, only to return home for dinner. Definitely not! Much as I stand for feminism, I totally respect men for continuing to be the 'breadwinners' since time immemorial. But the fact remains that it takes women a lot more effort to get their due in what is largely a 'Man's world'!!!!!
As a matter of fact, I would say that women are partly responsible for the vulnerable position they'd put themselves in. In olden times, they'd be content with staying shut within the four walls of their home, cooking for the family, being a good wife, a dutiful daughter-in-law and a loving mother. She neither got the opportunities to venture out and build a career, nor did she create them. Over time, it became the norm for women to be sub-servient to their husbands and spend the rest of their life in the shadow of their glory. But no more! Today, we have grown immensely and can proudly claim to be capable of holding our own wherever we go. Women today, are independent and self-sufficent, capable of taking their own decisions, making their own choices and basically, living their own life!!!!
No more are we second to men..........the world can have its own opinion and people can say all they want. But then, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. If we believe in ourself and strive to reach the top, then nothing anybody says makes any difference......Because after all, when you're at the top, that's all that matters....once you get there, nobody cares whether you're a man or a woman....its the journey that's the true test...........And when we have done it in the past, there's no reason why we can't do it again!!!!
So, this woman's day let's vow to celebrate our existence ......Besides, like I mentioned earlier in this post........its time to stop trying to prove anything to others.........When they can't challenge, they'll tolerate and once they tolerate, eventually they'll have to accept!!!!! So let's save ourselves the trouble of establishing our identity because we've already done that.......more than we were required to!!!!!
Once again.....Happy Women's Day to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers from Slo....till next time, Tally-ho!!!!!!!!
It's International Women's Day on March 8th and before I move on, Happy Women's Day to all the women I know and to the ones I don't know........Let's celebrate our existence and command our worth on a day that's dedicated to us!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we're back to that time of the year again when publications ramble on and on about how eons have passed and women have not evolved. We still continue to be the weaker sex and how we are so easily exploited.........Some small movements and changes are highlighted but unfortunately, the emphasis is always on how we are still inferior to men......
How unfair......how grossly unfair.....We all know that over the years, we surely have uplifted our status and have been steadily climbing up the social ladder. Things have changed for the better and a lot of ancient, almost savage practices have now been rendered redundant. Women have always been hailed as the better half of men. They have shared space on this earth ever since man has been here. Yet, they have always had a raw deal. People talk of equality and elimination of gender bias but let's face it....in our predominantly orthodox social set up, somewhere at the corner of our mind, the bias still exists. Women have never had it easy. In all forms of social extremism, the targets have always been women....be it the purdah system, sati or infanticide. Women can do almost everything that men can and yet, time and again, they need to prove themselves because people just need an excuse to bring about comparisons and underplay the role and achievements of women.
Maybe its time then, that we stopped trying to prove anything to anybody. Maybe we should just live life on our own terms, mind our own business.......maybe we should stop screaming ourselves hoarse that we are equal to men and let them see and sense it for themselves! Having said that, I must add that over the past few years, women have been in the forefront in all fields....from Politics (our very own queen bee Smt. Sonia Gandhi) to social work (Maneka Gandhi), from Science (Kalpana Chawla) to Commerce (Indra Nooyi), from Art (Dr.Sarayu Doshi) to Literature (the recent Pulitzer prize-winner Kiran Desai) to Films (Deepa Mehta....director of the Oscar-nominated Water) to every other field.......and these are just great exponents that I have chosen from a list of women that if completely laid, would never end!!!! These women, by being the very best in their respective departments, have given inimitable respect to our clan and shown that women have what it takes to be 'UP THERE'! (Disclaimer: I have intentionally named ONLY Indian women, not because I am prejudiced but because I reside in India and my literary works are largely in the Indian context, so it only makes sense to name Indians as instances)
In concurrence with the age-old saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", women have always shown that they can very well maintain their calm in trying times and emerge victorious in the gravest of circumstances. It has been often cited how immaculately ambitious women balance home and work.
No mistakes here.......I am not trying to hail 'womankind' as superior to the men folk (though nothing would please me more!!). I am not saying that men are poor old good-for-nothings who simply trudge to work, briefcase in hand, only to return home for dinner. Definitely not! Much as I stand for feminism, I totally respect men for continuing to be the 'breadwinners' since time immemorial. But the fact remains that it takes women a lot more effort to get their due in what is largely a 'Man's world'!!!!!
As a matter of fact, I would say that women are partly responsible for the vulnerable position they'd put themselves in. In olden times, they'd be content with staying shut within the four walls of their home, cooking for the family, being a good wife, a dutiful daughter-in-law and a loving mother. She neither got the opportunities to venture out and build a career, nor did she create them. Over time, it became the norm for women to be sub-servient to their husbands and spend the rest of their life in the shadow of their glory. But no more! Today, we have grown immensely and can proudly claim to be capable of holding our own wherever we go. Women today, are independent and self-sufficent, capable of taking their own decisions, making their own choices and basically, living their own life!!!!
No more are we second to men..........the world can have its own opinion and people can say all they want. But then, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. If we believe in ourself and strive to reach the top, then nothing anybody says makes any difference......Because after all, when you're at the top, that's all that matters....once you get there, nobody cares whether you're a man or a woman....its the journey that's the true test...........And when we have done it in the past, there's no reason why we can't do it again!!!!
So, this woman's day let's vow to celebrate our existence ......Besides, like I mentioned earlier in this post........its time to stop trying to prove anything to others.........When they can't challenge, they'll tolerate and once they tolerate, eventually they'll have to accept!!!!! So let's save ourselves the trouble of establishing our identity because we've already done that.......more than we were required to!!!!!
Once again.....Happy Women's Day to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers from Slo....till next time, Tally-ho!!!!!!!!
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