Testing times......

Hey friends, back again to eat your brains!!!! Well, this time I'm all set to write on a rather heavy topic.......

Now, picture this....

There was this lady who was battling cancer, last stage. And eventually when she lay on her deathbed, she was surrounded by all her near and dear ones - her husband, her 3 daughters, grandchildren, siblings and some close friends. And once the doctor announced that she was critical and battling for her last few breaths, everyone was allowed near her and all of them were in tears. Everyone was saying things like "mom, please don't leave us and go...", "what would we do without you?" and her husband said "how can you do this to me.....you had promised you'd always be there with and for me and all our children..." and stuff like that. None of them were quite empathetic to the fact that she was already miserable and wasn't exactly enjoying what she was undergoing, that she had no control over what was to happen to her in the next few moments; in fact she was in immense pain and struggling for each breath.

Away from this entire scene, her youngest daughter stood at one corner of the room.....not weeping, not saying anything. And then, suddenly but with firm steps, she walked up to her mother. She lovingly took her mother's hand in hers and with her eyes full but the tears not flowing, she said strongly, "Mom, ever since we were born and to this very day, you have always done for us all that was in your capacity and more to make us happy. You have not given us all that we wanted but all that we needed....and that's what has made us the charming and sensible young women we are. You built in us those values and habits that people around us love and respect us for. You have been our best friend who gave us a high five when we were delighted about something, a pat on the back to motivate us and give us strength when things weren't quite going the way we wanted them to, a shoulder to cry on when we were really distraught. Mom, we love you loads. And it pains us greatly to see you suffer like this. We can feel the suffering you are going through. Much as we love you and want you with us forever, it'd never do for us to see you like this everyday of your life." And then she paused to clear her throat, lest she start crying.

Then she said, "Mom, I speak not just for myself but for all of us." Everyone glared at each other wondering what this girl was going to say. She continued, "Mom, each one will tell you a different thing. Each one of us is extremely sad about having to let you go but mom, we realize that its best for you." "Noooooooooooooooooo. What are you saying?" screamed her elder sister. But the girl softly went on without clarifying, "Sometimes, we must realize that when its hard to hold on, its best to let go." And with that she moved behind the crowd of people because she couldn't contain her tears any more. Her mother breathed her last within two seconds, but not before saying, "Thank you, my love, for making it easier for me."

Well, well, if that was sad and brought tears to your eyes, I must congratulate my story-telling abilities! But my intention was not that. Its just the line, "When its hard to hold on, its best to let go".........I'd read this line in Reader's Digest a couple of years ago and it just stuck. I thought.....and still think...that it is a line which gives a lot of strength. At first, it seems like a line that glorifies the act of giving up before achieving anything. But on deeper thought, you realize that it is not so much about giving up as it is about giving in.

What I mean is that sometimes things are simply beyond our control. Like the definition of life goes, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." Yes, its just that and that's what we commonly call destiny. Call it destiny, fate, God's will or for the atheist and the non-spiritual people among you, simply an occurrence but at grassroots level, and for all practical purposes, its something we have no control over. And after all, that's life......and sometimes, you've just got to give in because some things are just meant to be!

This article is not so much about the sob story that I narrated just now as it is about that one line. I believe it is a line that fits everywhere and that signifies prudence in the stickiest of situations. Let's see how.....shall we??!!

When someone fails an examination, what do we tell him or her in consolation?? We say that its best to put the failure behind and start anew with renewed enthusiasm and effort. Let go of the failure, so to say, and not hold on to it.

When someone has just had a horrible break-up or is fresh from going through a trying patch in their relationship, again, instead of holding on to the gross memories of it, its best to let go and look ahead and better times.

When our favorite sports team loses an incredibly easy match (read India losing against Bangladesh...........LOL!!), what do we do??? Curse them. And then when they come back with a bang (our darling men in blue again!!!), what do we do again?? Hail them!! Why?? Because we don't hold on to their failures!!! We let them go and look at each new game with new hope (so much for our hopes in the ICC World Cup!!!!)

When a 26/7 or 9/11 or 7/11 strike, do we shut ourselves up inside our homes and steer clear of danger or venture out, albeit with a little fear in our hearts but with courage in our head and the determination to not let anything deter our spirit??? Obviously the latter......and that is but a result of not holding on to the memories or the fear or the incident at large but letting go and being strong.

So I said, the maxim applies universally. Why.....may I ask.....why do we need to burden ourselves with excess baggage of past memories, failures, worries when those that life keeps pelting at us are more than sufficient??!!!! I happened to read somewhere......."A man doesn't even live for a hundred years, yet he worries enough for thousand!!" How True!

Just as the age-old principle goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going", trying times make you stronger. Challenges brace you for the worst but even in those times, we must derive strength from our inner selves and that can happen by not dwelling on the past but by looking ahead, at the bright future in anticipation of nothing less than the BEST!!!!

So let us be like birds, carefree and calm. Let us relieve our self of the excess baggage of sorrow, failure, grudge, worry, guilt and panic that slow us on our journey through life......Lighten our load and be happier people. Let us all learn and practice the principle, "When its hard to hold on, its best to let go!!"

This is it for now pals.....till next time, from Slo, its Tally-Ho!!!