There was a time when there were two or three channels on TV and the same programmes were followed religiously in most households…...they were common grounds for discussion at family and social gatherings……..everyone knew the characters as if they’d grown up together…..the actors were often lost in the shadows of the characters they played……….
Years passed…………
You’d think things changed……….
They did………
The number of programmes increased!
You’d think people got bored…….
But they didn’t…….and they stuck by their favourite shows and directors and characters.
They’d lap up all the twists and turns that were flung at them……Housewives were prime targets……they’d watch their “soaps” throughout the day……..and discuss them at length with the neighbourhood aunties in the evenings……….For some time watching the “serials” were a family pastime…..until it became fashionable for youngsters to say “I wouldn’t be caught dead watching that crap”……and then the household viewership of the serials started dwindling as reality shows and game shows became more “IN”.
But some loyalists always remain. As time passed….plots became more and more…..errr intriguing (to put it lightly), absurd (to say it as it is). But even today, satellite channels dish out programmes by the dozen and some things still haven’t changed………..actors are still remembered by the characters they play, the “believability quotient” has bottomed new depths, missing an episode still means missing out on a million-dollar segment of a masterpiece script and rantings and complaints still don’t dislocate the loyalty of devoted viewers!
So here’s to our soap operas that till date are the mainstay on television sets of scores and scores of Indian households……here are a few things that you’ll only get to see on these mega “serial” killers………..
1) Homes larger in size and greater in grandeur than Buckingham Palace
2) Families larger in size and richer in wealth than a medieval princely state
3) Festivals and marriages at the drop of a hat
4) No concept of home-wear………..make-up (popularly referred to as “pancake”) that would put a Miss Universe aspirant to shame seconds before she sets foot on stage…..characters all dolled up in designer-wear when all they have to do is cry…..
5) Plastic surgeries for fun
6) Father today at 40, grandfather tomorrow at 60, great-grandfather day after tomorrow at 80……looking exactly the same
7) Same for mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers
8) Generation gaps that don’t show (how would they if you were playing your similar-in-age-co-star’s mother-in-law?!)
9) Domestic rivalries that would make a world war seem like a triviality
10) Glycerin bottles spent in gallons
11) Plots and sub-plots and sub-sub-plots and………
12) Background music that would make the following scene seem like impending crisis (here, I simply HAVE to mention a scene from a serial that used to be aired about 12 years ago…….the lady protagonist making her bed lets out an deafening shriek and the episode ends……to reveal a cockroach on the bed in the following episode……by far one of the most hilarious scenes I’ve ever witnessed)
13) Unabashed exchange of romantic relationships between the battalion of protagonists……with one today and another tomorrow – making permutations and combinations easier to explain!
14) Advertisements – food products, cosmetics, movies – name it and they are all right there……no no not in the commercial breaks…in the very heart of the serial…marketing made easy!
15) Leaps and bounds (in years and decades) – presumably to give a push to an otherwise stagnant story line – often only serving to complicate matters by bringing more characters and an increasingly digressing script
16) Villains remain villains……vamps remain vamps…………social crimes and corporate hanky-pankies make for a chatpata plot…….good people continue to be exploited (because most of them are also dumb!) and the extras prance around like part of the wallpaper.
17) Separations and reunions………..amidst much fanfare
18) At least one poor little creature who’s always the butt of jokes………..usually rotund….it helps if he has a lisp…..helps even more if he can do a stupid jig on impulse. Helps also if he is attached to the household pet which could be anything from a puppy, a kitten, a hamster, a pigeon, a parrot, a squirrel, a horse, an elephant…………
19) One central character without focusing on whom no episode can end (usually the one who becomes synonymous to the serial itself – and seldom ever remembers herself by her own name by the time the serial comes to a close…….if ever!)
20) And last but not the least – the over-glorified, almost worshipped creators of such serials without whom the telly industry would crash in a single day………its not innovation or wealth or talent or knowledge…..just plain old business sense……..
The USP of Indian serials lies in their ability to exaggerate the colourful Indian culture, lace it with a bit of spice and masala and present it to the viewers each time with simply a different packaging………..The USP of its makers lies in their ability to do just that.
No opinions here as “I wouldn’t be caught dead watching any of that crap anyway” (!!!) but the stronghold that these soap operas have on the Indian television industry has always been a pet topic of mine to take potshots at……………
The above list as always is not exhaustive……..additional interesting observations are always welcome…….after all on this blog, it’s all about sugar AND spice!
So till next time……from slo – it’s Tally-ho!
Friday, June 26, 2009
A Daily Mantra - from Slo!
There’s no day like today,
No time like now;
To say and do all you want,
To make every moment count;
So go all out and fulfill your dreams,
Give the world your hues;
For, the world is but your oyster,
And the pearl within is YOU!
Back........after a hiatus.....in line with the rains!
It was just yesterday that I was sitting and wondering how long it’s been since I’ve blogged…..and I realized it’s been close to a year. Too long a silence….even by my standards! And then I promised myself to update my blog before 30th July, by when a whole year will have passed………….
But before I knew it, the rains came pouring down……..and it dawned on me that nothing inspires me more than a chill shower…….. It may be argued that a chill shower could have been availed of much much earlier within the confines of the bathroom at home………but that’s hardly a valid comparison to the natural, blissful, serene pitter-patter of raindrops on the window panes. Nothing makes me want to pen my thoughts down like the fragrance of the first rain of the season. Ever more so when the monsoons have been awaited in eager anticipation for quite a while now………….the extended scorching summer has finally accepted defeat and made way for the king of all seasons – the Monsoons!
Everyone has their own ideas as to what is the ideal way to spend “A Rainy Day”. Even in school examinations, I vividly recall this topic as a perennial favourite and no essay book worth its while would be complete without a descriptive piece on the good, the bad and the ugly side of rains. But all of that is too predictable, too theoretical and too “proper” to serve any purpose besides preparing for exams.
The true beauty of the rains is its unpredictability. The true bliss of the rains is the freshness it ushers in. So there really can’t be an ideal way to spend a rainy day……only several things to do….some silly and some simply refreshing!
1) Curl up under the blanket (fleece blankets work best!) with all the windows open and all the fans switched off……..inhale…..exhale…..inhale……exhale……….keep repeating!
2) Wear light clothing, floaters and go splishing-sploshing-splashing…… (err….caution: leave the floaters outside if you want home to still look like home and not resemble a mudstream)
3) Walk out with an umbrella and twirl it first clockwise and then counter-clockwise………for better results, invert the umbrella and repeat!
4) Go swimming in an open pool………revel in the blissful way the raindrops kiss the surface of the water.
5) Laugh heartily when someone’s umbrella flies away or overturns (admit you’ve done it before…..everyone has!)……..and when it happens to you, pretend you meant it to be exactly that way!
6) Gather the neighbourhood kids, float paper boats in puddles, sing ‘rain-rain-go-away” (if they are really really small!)……..go back to your childhood!
7) Read Mills-and-Boons or a spine-chilling thriller, watch the video of “pyaar hua ikraar hua hai” and smile discreetly, listen to some soft melodies, look out of the window and dream ……..romance your soul!
8) Have hot, masala chai, with the age-old monsoon snack - hot hot pakoras.
9) If you don’t like tea…..have coffee…..or hot chocolate….
10) Or hot water…(!!!)
11) Play Antakshari……..or Dumb Charades……Sing loudly with all the air in your lungs….or Whistle likewise!
12) Sneeze……steam……..sneeze…..steam……sneeze…….steam……….take care!
13) Give everyone at home a tight warm hug!
14) Get everyone together and watch a movie………….then poke fun at all the characters!
15) Recline on the couch, shut your eyes, go for a stroll down memory lane…….
16) Look out of the window at night before you go to sleep…….chuckle to yourself and inwardly decide whether you want to step out the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17) Let yourself GO……………………………………..ENJOY!
Use these pointers at your own discretion……the list is not comprehensive………..Add to it at will……….But no matter what you do, don’t forget to soak in the spirit of the monsoons…….it comes only once every year!
Hopefully, lots more posts coming up soon…….hopefully no more long silences to breach………..but till next time, from slo it’s Tally-ho!
But before I knew it, the rains came pouring down……..and it dawned on me that nothing inspires me more than a chill shower…….. It may be argued that a chill shower could have been availed of much much earlier within the confines of the bathroom at home………but that’s hardly a valid comparison to the natural, blissful, serene pitter-patter of raindrops on the window panes. Nothing makes me want to pen my thoughts down like the fragrance of the first rain of the season. Ever more so when the monsoons have been awaited in eager anticipation for quite a while now………….the extended scorching summer has finally accepted defeat and made way for the king of all seasons – the Monsoons!
Everyone has their own ideas as to what is the ideal way to spend “A Rainy Day”. Even in school examinations, I vividly recall this topic as a perennial favourite and no essay book worth its while would be complete without a descriptive piece on the good, the bad and the ugly side of rains. But all of that is too predictable, too theoretical and too “proper” to serve any purpose besides preparing for exams.
The true beauty of the rains is its unpredictability. The true bliss of the rains is the freshness it ushers in. So there really can’t be an ideal way to spend a rainy day……only several things to do….some silly and some simply refreshing!
1) Curl up under the blanket (fleece blankets work best!) with all the windows open and all the fans switched off……..inhale…..exhale…..inhale……exhale……….keep repeating!
2) Wear light clothing, floaters and go splishing-sploshing-splashing…… (err….caution: leave the floaters outside if you want home to still look like home and not resemble a mudstream)
3) Walk out with an umbrella and twirl it first clockwise and then counter-clockwise………for better results, invert the umbrella and repeat!
4) Go swimming in an open pool………revel in the blissful way the raindrops kiss the surface of the water.
5) Laugh heartily when someone’s umbrella flies away or overturns (admit you’ve done it before…..everyone has!)……..and when it happens to you, pretend you meant it to be exactly that way!
6) Gather the neighbourhood kids, float paper boats in puddles, sing ‘rain-rain-go-away” (if they are really really small!)……..go back to your childhood!
7) Read Mills-and-Boons or a spine-chilling thriller, watch the video of “pyaar hua ikraar hua hai” and smile discreetly, listen to some soft melodies, look out of the window and dream ……..romance your soul!
8) Have hot, masala chai, with the age-old monsoon snack - hot hot pakoras.
9) If you don’t like tea…..have coffee…..or hot chocolate….
10) Or hot water…(!!!)
11) Play Antakshari……..or Dumb Charades……Sing loudly with all the air in your lungs….or Whistle likewise!
12) Sneeze……steam……..sneeze…..steam……sneeze…….steam……….take care!
13) Give everyone at home a tight warm hug!
14) Get everyone together and watch a movie………….then poke fun at all the characters!
15) Recline on the couch, shut your eyes, go for a stroll down memory lane…….
16) Look out of the window at night before you go to sleep…….chuckle to yourself and inwardly decide whether you want to step out the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17) Let yourself GO……………………………………..ENJOY!
Use these pointers at your own discretion……the list is not comprehensive………..Add to it at will……….But no matter what you do, don’t forget to soak in the spirit of the monsoons…….it comes only once every year!
Hopefully, lots more posts coming up soon…….hopefully no more long silences to breach………..but till next time, from slo it’s Tally-ho!
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